Less Poetry ,Please

“This will really have to stop. It’s gone too far, “said the Wing Centre’s brother. He used to play for Kinlochshiel and won some minor medals with them a long time ago. More than that he won a silver medal at a far off Wester Ross Provincial Mod which presumably means that once upon a time he knew what real poetry was. Anyway, all he said was “You must have caught the bug from somewhere.”

“I simply can’t think where I got it

  But it’s really very hard to stop it”    said the compulsive versifier , with a sigh.

“It’s been like this for months till now

  But I’d like to stop it anyhow”

“Were you anywhere near the honorary bard of Kintail Lochalsh and Glenshiel?  I think I saw you speaking to him at the ‘Shiel game over at Balgate in October,” said the brother who tends to notice things.

“The answer is a most definite Yes

  I spoke to him there I must confess”

“Then that must be the explanation simple or otherwise. I fear however, you are going to need specialist help to get over this affliction. There is nothing worse in life than the awful certainty of an obvious rhyme. Even Shakespeare’s characters avoided that.” The brother waited for an answer.

“I know

Even though

they spoke in poetry all the time,

they didn’t feel the need to rhyme

But the thought of rhyming till I drop

Upsets me - so it’s got to stop! “was the answer the brother got, at which he walked away baffled.

So there matters stand for the present; the Wing Centre has been struck with the divine afflatus, the virus having been passed on from another team’s bard and until the illness abates there is nothing for it but to give him time and stick with the rhyme.

Which is easier said than done- and can be very irritating as the Chairman found out when he asked for a brief report on the Inverness friendly which the Glen won 2-1.

“James Cameron put the town ahead

And then I thought the game was dead

Till  Finlay R knocked our first one in

And his second goal gave us the win.” said the Wing Centre not really realising what he was doing. The Chairman looked at him rather strangely but said nothing and moved on to other business.

“How’s our Lotto going so far this year ?” he asked

“Not really very well I fear.

When the prize is low

The tickets are slow

To go”

“Are we making anything on it at all?” asked the Chairman

“If we are, the sum’s quite small” said the Wing Centre without any forethought as to the consequences.

“It was £20 we made last week

if the jackpot’s high, the takings peak”

The Chairman sighed and went on to talk about the Beauly game. The Wing Centre remained silent until he was asked to comment on that particular clash.

“Usually I would not give a toss

But that was a disappointing loss

Still, Connor’s goal was taken well

After that we went to H…”

He was not permitted the time to finish his sentence-if that was what it was going to be. As he walked slowly up Balmacaan Road  it was clear that his problems with compulsive  rhyme was becoming serious- made more deadly by the poor handling of metre and syllable. Too many years reading about Rupert Bear and Bill the Badger in Nutwood might have set up the initial infection but the disease had only really taken off after that conversation at Balgate.

Still it isn’t all bad ,as this little piece of poesy might reveal.

The New Shinty Season-Bring it on

The Shinty season’s almost here;

The nets and goals are up.

Helen’s washed the stripey shirts

and cleaned the Macdonald Cup

Plonker’s lined the Blairbeg sward

In straight, geometric lines

And Billy’s cut the grass quite short

While Iain’s used the tines.

The corner flags are newly sewn

There’s fresh turf on the D.

The edges have been trimmed right back

Just what you want to see.

We’ve cleared the pitch of rubbish

and filled in all the holes

We’ve even purged the lower side

of a herd of hungry moles.

With the AGM behind us

for yet another year

and the Dinner Dance being over,

there’s nothing left to fear.

The training’s already started;

The boys seem keen once more.

Here’s hoping that the black and reds

Can make the home crowd roar.

We wonder why we do it:

no one really knows

But come the opening week of March

Once more we’re on our toes.

Yes, we may win a cup or two

or nothing much at all.

But we’ll keep Glen shinty going

and answer every call

And there it is-though there really ought to be something about the Glen Girls’ match against Kinlochshiel and now thanks to Ishbell’s timely intervention there actually is.

The result went 7-0 in favour of the Glen With the scorers being: Abi Stoddart (3), Hazel Hunter (2) and Claire Hannon (2)

Glen fielded a strong squad of 14 to take on Kinlochshiel in the opening friendly of 2018.It was therefore  a good opportunity for new players Iris Erskine, Julie MacLeod and Kirsty Smith to get some experience ahead of the season 

“Despite having had our initial training hampered by poor weather and icy conditions on the Astro we were intrigued to see how we would perform especially against the new Kinlochshiel side. In the event Abi Stoddart and Claire Hannon were dominant in the midfield. And that eventually told against the inexperienced ‘Shiel girls

Overall the team appeared to enjoy playing together again, with some moments of good passes and well executed basics. There were also moments which showed our rustiness .  The squad is back to training on Tuesday nights 19:30-21:00 on the Astro turf; all are welcome.  

The other pre season friendlies to look forward to are

Lovat Saturday 17th 10:00 in Balgate 

Inverness Tuesday 20th 19:30 On the Astro in Drumnadrochit

Strathglass Saturday 24th 10:30 throw up on the Astro in Drumnadrochit “

The Girls’ season commences for real on 4th March when we are away to Glengarry. Thanks to Ishbell Barr for the words: I am sure that given her connection with the West, next time she could manage it in rhyme

Oh and finally----

Well done to Sheena who did snatch

Some pics from the Inverness match .