Thursday, February 15, 2018

Less Poetry ,Please

“This will really have to stop. It’s gone too far, “said the Wing Centre’s brother. He used to play for Kinlochshiel and won some minor medals with them a long time ago. More than that he won a silver medal at a far off Wester Ross Provincial Mod which presumably means that once upon a time he knew what real poetry was. Anyway, all he said was “You must have caught the bug from somewhere.”
“I simply can’t think where I got it
  But it’s really very hard to stop it”    said the compulsive versifier , with a sigh.
“It’s been like this for months till now
  But I’d like to stop it anyhow”
“Were you anywhere near the honorary bard of Kintail Lochalsh and Glenshiel?  I think I saw you speaking to him at the ‘Shiel game over at Balgate in October,” said the brother who tends to notice things.
“The answer is a most definite Yes
  I spoke to him there I must confess”
“Then that must be the explanation simple or otherwise. I fear however, you are going to need specialist help to get over this affliction. There is nothing worse in life than the awful certainty of an obvious rhyme. Even Shakespeare’s characters avoided that.” The brother waited for an answer.
“I know
Even though
they spoke in poetry all the time,
they didn’t feel the need to rhyme
But the thought of rhyming till I drop
Upsets me - so it’s got to stop! “was the answer the brother got, at which he walked away baffled.

So there matters stand for the present; the Wing Centre has been struck with the divine afflatus, the virus having been passed on from another team’s bard and until the illness abates there is nothing for it but to give him time and stick with the rhyme.

Which is easier said than done- and can be very irritating as the Chairman found out when he asked for a brief report on the Inverness friendly which the Glen won 2-1.
“James Cameron put the town ahead
And then I thought the game was dead
Till  Finlay R knocked our first one in
And his second goal gave us the win.” said the Wing Centre not really realising what he was doing. The Chairman looked at him rather strangely but said nothing and moved on to other business.

“How’s our Lotto going so far this year ?” he asked
Not really very well I fear.
When the prize is low
The tickets are slow
To go”
“Are we making anything on it at all?” asked the Chairman
If we are, the sum’s quite small” said the Wing Centre without any forethought as to the consequences.
“It was £20 we made last week
if the jackpot’s high, the takings peak”
The Chairman sighed and went on to talk about the Beauly game. The Wing Centre remained silent until he was asked to comment on that particular clash.
“Usually I would not give a toss
But that was a disappointing loss
Still, Connor’s goal was taken well
After that we went to H…”
He was not permitted the time to finish his sentence-if that was what it was going to be. As he walked slowly up Balmacaan Road  it was clear that his problems with compulsive  rhyme was becoming serious- made more deadly by the poor handling of metre and syllable. Too many years reading about Rupert Bear and Bill the Badger in Nutwood might have set up the initial infection but the disease had only really taken off after that conversation at Balgate.

Still it isn’t all bad ,as this little piece of poesy might reveal.

The New Shinty Season-Bring it on

The Shinty season’s almost here;
The nets and goals are up.
Helen’s washed the stripey shirts
and cleaned the Macdonald Cup

Plonker’s lined the Blairbeg sward
In straight, geometric lines
And Billy’s cut the grass quite short
While Iain’s used the tines.

The corner flags are newly sewn
There’s fresh turf on the D.
The edges have been trimmed right back
Just what you want to see.

We’ve cleared the pitch of rubbish
and filled in all the holes
We’ve even purged the lower side
of a herd of hungry moles.

With the AGM behind us
for yet another year
and the Dinner Dance being over,
there’s nothing left to fear.

The training’s already started;
The boys seem keen once more.
Here’s hoping that the black and reds
Can make the home crowd roar.

We wonder why we do it:
no one really knows
But come the opening week of March
Once more we’re on our toes.

Yes, we may win a cup or two
or nothing much at all.
But we’ll keep Glen shinty going
and answer every call

And there it is-though there really ought to be something about the Glen Girls’ match against Kinlochshiel and now thanks to Ishbell’s timely intervention there actually is.
The result went 7-0 in favour of the Glen With the scorers being: Abi Stoddart (3), Hazel Hunter (2) and Claire Hannon (2)

Glen fielded a strong squad of 14 to take on Kinlochshiel in the opening friendly of 2018.It was therefore  a good opportunity for new players Iris Erskine, Julie MacLeod and Kirsty Smith to get some experience ahead of the season 
“Despite having had our initial training hampered by poor weather and icy conditions on the Astro we were intrigued to see how we would perform especially against the new Kinlochshiel side. In the event Abi Stoddart and Claire Hannon were dominant in the midfield. And that eventually told against the inexperienced ‘Shiel girls
Overall the team appeared to enjoy playing together again, with some moments of good passes and well executed basics. There were also moments which showed our rustiness .  The squad is back to training on Tuesday nights 19:30-21:00 on the Astro turf; all are welcome.  
The other pre season friendlies to look forward to are
Lovat Saturday 17th 10:00 in Balgate 
Inverness Tuesday 20th 19:30 On the Astro in Drumnadrochit
Strathglass Saturday 24th 10:30 throw up on the Astro in Drumnadrochit “

The Girls’ season commences for real on 4th March when we are away to Glengarry. Thanks to Ishbell Barr for the words: I am sure that given her connection with the West, next time she could manage it in rhyme

Oh and finally----

Well done to Sheena who did snatch
Some pics from the Inverness match .

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