Shinty could do with another “Wild Thing” or a new Galveston Auld.

There are only so many times a fence can be painted and still remain a fence. As for the garden, let it dig itself for a change. The Wing Centre has had so much lockdown this last five weeks that it’s with a sense of nostalgia that he looks back to these days when he was actually locked out-sometimes because he had forgotten his key- more usually for a different reason upon which at the moment he feels disinclined to dilate (to alliterate a phrase)

He has not however written about the Great and Beautiful Game for over a year for reasons it is difficult to pin down. Ejection from the Premier League, which he had seen coming for a year or two, is certainly one reason. A second is that attempting levity and humour at a time when the team is struggling to maintain its place in a League just out of its standard is not really very advisable- and truthfully trying to explain matters in the sense of….  this guy doesn’t play any more… we lost that guy etc ...this guy is having a year/two years/the rest of his life off…. etc …. etc… just sounds like whingeing. Which it is.

Filling in time without shinty is interesting provided you have plenty shinty based material to keep you going. The Wing Centre has plenty such material but he was very lucky to be able to rescue his scrapbook containing reports of Kingussie’s greatest Camanachd Cup wins 1984-2006. His good lady had it in her possession - this lockdown has brought on a fit of spring clean fever- and the scrapbook was heading towards the bin along with his Action Man (G.I. Joe -original) and Scalextric (Austin Martin DB2). Joe and the Austin Martin got it but Kingussie’s greatest hits were rescued on a promise they would be tidied away and not left lying about on tables (sic).

Having rescued the scrapbook the Wing Centre had a wee read of some of the contents -he did not bother with the game of 1988 of course- but did enjoy some of the rest except that the stories got boring in the end. There was always the same ending and yet…the one that stood out most was the final of ’93. Why? A hopeless day of rain and Kingussie make it lucky 13 (wow how time flies) but that grey day was made memorable by the performance of the last great shinty player who also had great box-office quality.

It is an indefinable gift: you have it or you don’t. Ronald Ross’s sheer goal scoring ability makes him a contender: James Clark had a special something but not quite as much as Gary Innes: Eddie Tembo wears sharp suits very well but the man who turned that game in Kingussie’s favour was the irrepressible Dallas Young. (The adjective is from the pages of the Courier) He scored two goals and tricked the keeper by letting a strike from Davie Anderson fly through his legs for yet another goal. Ali Borthwick scored the fourth. The opponents? Oban Camanachd though it’s doubtful if they would even want a mention.

Maybe Dallas played well in other finals. Who knows? Maybe he could have had a longer career had he done other conventional things like train. Maybe he got an injury that would not heal-the Wing Centre does not know or maybe he does not remember- but what he does know that when Dallas was brilliant then he was ……brilliant – and that should be enough.

Actually, Dallas’ showbiz qualities were recognised with an appearance in Hamish Macbeth but to tell the truth they should have given him a much bigger part and rewritten the script. Doubtless they could not get M C Beaton to change a book but they should have had Dal doing some crazy things like hitting a shinty ball down an old mannie’s chimney or bringing live lobsters into the bar and letting them go. What Stuart Hepburn, the script guy, did was an easy cop-out – called Dallas “Houston Old” See what he did there? Gave him the name of another Texas town and opposited his name from “Young” to “Old”. Genius ---Not.

Dallas is a Texas town redolent of oil money, glitz, glamour J. R, Sue Ellen and Bobby coming back from the dead out of the shower. Houston? Nothing. It’s like choosing Edmonton over Calgary! Just dead boring if not dead. Just ask former C.A. President Jim Barr-he’s been there. Even Abriachan engenders more excitement. No wonder the guys said on the telly. “Houston we have lift off”: they couldn’t wait to get away from the place – to space, to the moon anywhere but stay in Houston.

If Stuartie was wanting a Texas town he could have chosen Lubbock because that is where Buddy Holly came from. Better still would have been Galveston – a working town, a proper town like Dal- and at least it’s in a Country & Western Song by Glen Campbell.

Then “Old”. Pathetic. It is in Scotland -at least it should have been “Auld” like in Bertie.

Yeah there you have it “Galveston Auld”-that has an authentic ring to it.

And what about the Glen?

Well this season which came to such an untimely end has been our best ever- unbeaten all season and a cup in the cupboard in the Inn-at least that’s where it might be if the place ever opens again so we can actually see it for ourselves.

However, now that the blog is up there are two pieces soon to come at least. A special report on the last MacTavish Cup – it won’t go away you know- and the inside skinny on Bandon in Ireland the end of season trip to end all trips as in “ABandon All hope Ye Who Enter Here.”

It has to be said, though, that the title is a work in progress.

Thanks to both photographers -Phil Downie and I guess Neil Paterson.